And Suddenly We’re in the Home Stretch

I took a trip to the States. SURPRISE!

After almost two years in Panama, I figured it’s about time that I come home to see my family. Yesterday, I returned to the Darien. A couple of observations:

I have decided that I will NEVER go that long without coming home again. Though I still haven’t finished scratching the travel itch, I have decided that I need to come home at least twice a year to see my people.

I mean, I came home and met a cousin that didn’t exist when I left for Panama. She’s like almost talking now.

Second observation: Now that I’ve had that little venture back to the motherland, I feel that I have a different perspective on this whole Peace Corps thing. Let me explain what I mean:

1) My Peace Corps service is finite.
I mean, I knew that I only had a few months left living in Darien, but did I really realize that it’ll only be a few short weeks before I’m saying goodbye to all the friends and family that have supported me for the past two years? Guys, that’s a big deal. I’ve invested a lot of time and energy here, and I don’t know when I’m ever coming back.

Yea, I’ll say it—I’m even gonna miss my cat. (I’ve started entertaining the idea of taking her to the States. Lord, help us all.)

2) It doesn’t take long to fly to the States. It’s not even hard.
When I flew to the States, I just left my house and got on a bus to the airport one morning and then. . .suddenly I was in America. It wasn’t even hard. It’s really easy, actually. Somehow I thought North Carolina was more. . .distant. The world is infinitely more connected that we realize.

3) It’s so easy to get wrapped up in your immediate surroundings.
When I’m in Darien, I’m in Darien. I don’t even think about Chiriqui, for Christ’s sake, let alone Charlotte. When I’m in Darien, I’m focused on the manuals I need to edit or the emails I need to send or when’s the next time I need to do my laundry. As soon as I flew to the States, I forgot all of that. Is that not crazy? All of the thoughts that occupy my mind when I’m in Panama, just—snap—gone. Now I’m thinking about what movie I want to Netflix, what I’m going to make my sister for breakfast or what time she gets off of work. Then I get back to Darien and—snap again—I’m right back in the old ebb and flow.

Peace Corps has certainly broadened my horizons. It has that effect on any Peace Corps Volunteer. Anybody would tell you that. What I’ve never heard anyone tell me, though, is how it kind of narrows the scope of your immediate concerns in some ways. Yes, I still read books and think the big thoughts, sometimes, but let’s be honest. I live in a small town. I leave about once a month to stay in the city for a night, and that’s about it. My daily life does not consist of any ‘big thoughts,’ but the little things that do consume my time suddenly become so important to me. I’m not kidding. It is important that I go see my English students at the university on Saturdays. It is important that I leave Alex a voicemail because she doesn’t have phone signal and never talks to anyone outside of Candelilla.

Moving to Panama and joining the Peace Corps has blown my mind in so many ways, and now taking a two week trip back to the States has left my head spinning again. We’re not done yet—my next two months promises to be a whirlwind (I’ll keep you posted!). When I get back to the States in April, I’ll literally just be all Googly-eyed from all the different perspectives I now have on any one idea.

One a side note, it goes without saying that it was wonderful to get to hang out with my family for two weeks! I pretty much spent every waking moment with my sister (except for that time when I binge-watched Glee for what I swear was like 15 hours) and it was great to catch up and have some chill time.

In the meantime, I’m back on the grind making the most of my last few months of life in the tropical paradise (read: sweaty armpit) that is the Wild East, Dirty D, Darien province of Panama.

Hugs and kisses to everyone in the States! I’ll see you soon!

Aja

What I’ve been reading:

My Life—Bill Clinton
Think Like a Freak—Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner
Gone Girl—Gillian Flynn
Half the Sky—Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl DuWunn
The Hot Zone: The Terrifying True Story of the Origins of the Ebola Virus—Richard Preston
The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness—Michelle Alexander