Paseos and Grad School Stuff

I figured maybe I should give an actual little update rather than posting my self-indulgent hippie-esque ruminations.

I’m pretty much just chillin’ out over here. Nothing groundbreaking. I’m trying to hang out with my Pana-peeps and my Peace Corps friends as much as possible before I depart from these beautiful people in a couple of months.

This past weekend I went to a few different sites of other Peace Corps Volunteers in Panama Este (the next province over from me). I pass through Panama Este every time I bus to Panama City, but I hardly ever stop through and actually get to know the place! Welp, now’s the time for stopping to smell the roses. I hung out with a couple of the newer Peace Corps Volunteers who I hadn’t gotten to meet yet and continued to learn more about the geography and people of Eastern Panama.

I’m hoping to continue in my paseos and make some trips to the sites of a few other PCVs before I leave in April.

In grad school news, I’ve finally gotten some news back—and it’s good news! I was just recently notified that I’ve been admitted to the Maxwell School of Public Affairs at Syracuse University in their Master’s of Public Administration program (MPA). It’s the highest ranked public affairs program in the country, so I’m very excited that I’ve been admitted there. I’ve applied for admittance to some pretty competitive programs, so while I know I’m not out of the woods yet with respect to admissions/funding decisions, I am pumped to start off the notification season with some good news.

Michigan also just emailed me. I think they're going to call my cell phone tomorrow afternoon. They want to talk to me for about 20 minutes in order to get to 'know me better' during their fellowship decisions process. (They're tryna pretend it's not about the C.R.E.A.M.)

Also, one of my Peace Corps friends just emailed me out of the blue about a connection for a new job with this really cool NGO. I'm kind of excited to hear more about the position (jobs like this don't just fall in your lap!), but I also know that taking a job would mean deferring grad school I'm like AHHH! DECISIONS! Future! I'm not ready for you yet!

I’ll certainly be posting as I go through this new adventure of closing out my Peace Corps service and figuring out my next step! Things are starting to cook up and it's getting pretty exciting. Stay tuned.

--Aja

What I’ve been reading lately:

End of Poverty – Jeffrey Sachs

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close – Jonathan Safran Foer

Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.

You guys, I don’t even know how to update you right now. What am I doing? Where am I? What’s going on?

It’s February 6^th. I finish my service as a Peace Corps Volunteer on April 10^th.

And again, we come to one of those big transitional moments in life. High School graduation. Study abroad. College Graduation. Peace Corps. Leaving Peace Corps. As a 20-something American, these times tend to come up now and again for my demographic. And every time is does, I think the world has just turned on its head.

But in truth, el mundo sigue girando. It just keeps spinning on its axis, as if it paid no mind to the fact that I’m about two months away from repatriating back to my home country, taking a trip to Colombia, gearing up for grad school, passing on leadership of an organization to a fresh set of hands, and saying goodbye (or see you later?) to some of the best friends I’ve ever had in my life.

How would I even begin to eulogize this experience?

I’m not going to try. If you want to hear me monologue about it, you’ll just have to sit down and have a few drinks with me in person.

Suffice it to say though, while I do feel ready to move on in April, I am grateful for everything this experience has given to me and everything it’s taught me.

Enough of that, though. It’s not April! I have a couple more months to enjoy all that the Wild East of Panama has to offer!

What I’ve been reading:

Economic Gangsters – Ray Fisman

Unbroken – Laura Hillenbrand

Water for Elephants – Sara Gruen

The Art of Racing in the Rain – Garth Stein

A scatter-brained post: She’s cool, though. She, like. . . gets it.

Here's a random blog post I found.  I wrote it back in late August and for some reason forgot to ever post it. :)

In Peace Corps Panama, the biggest compliment us volunteers can pay our Panamanian friends and colleagues is that they ‘get’ it, meaning that they kind of understand some unspoken aspect of us Peace Corps Volunteers—why we’ve chosen to do what we do and why we live the way we live.

The farther I get into my Peace Corps service, the more I’ve come to value that ability in a person: the ability to understand the crazy hippie-ness that is the Peace Corps lifestyle.

Sometimes I forget that other people differ from me in their way of thinking. Peace Corps Volunteers (PCVs) can be very like-minded in some ways. When you constantly interact with head-in-the-clouds PCVs, you end up kind of indulging your metaphysically intellectual tendencies and loosening your grip on ‘reality’ (you know, whatever that is.)

Luckily, there are gringos and Panamanians alike that I meet in this country that reel me back in and remind me that people are different and the Peace Corps hippie mentality is not the only way of looking at the world.

There are a myriad of groups that I’ve met during my time in the Peace Corps:

Panamanians – Obviously most people I meet are Panamanian. One major difference between the ‘Peace Corps’ culture and Panamanian culture is the collectivist, family-focused culture of Panamanians vs. the slightly rebellious, restless nature of PCVs. A lot of my PC colleagues and I are still looking to see what we can get out of life. We want to explore the world and break/change/bend the rules. The fact that we are in our mid-twenties and aren’t already married with kids strikes Panamanians as odd. They don’t understand our lack of urgency in remedying this issue. They worry that we’re all alone in the world. Why do we live so far from our families? Shouldn’t we be looking for spouses? Will we marry Panamanians? PCVs are not trying to entertain these questions. We can’t have kids right now—we’ve got some exploring to do, first! (I’m not going to lie, though, Panamanians have something in common with some of my family members in the States in this respect.) Even if they don’t understand our craziness, though, Panamanians always have our backs and are looking out for our best interest. We wouldn’t be able to get by in this country without their amazing hospitality!

US Army – I’ve translated for the US Army a couple of times during medical tours in Panama. They have a myriad of personalities in the ranks of their reserve officers. I think the biggest differences between PCVs and  US Army reserves are that either 1) they (the army) doesn’t understand what we’re trying to get done here. Like. . . are we just little PR ambassadors? Where are the numbers? The results? OR 2) Oh my gosh our lives are so hard. We don’t have hot water? We must be martyrs.

I must say, I do enjoy translating for the army. While I teach them a little of what I have learned about Panama, I also learn bits and pieces of the military culture. It’s a cultural exchange!

Religious groups – There are a couple of religious groups that I’ve gotten the opportunity to translate for while I’ve been in Panama. These people are super sweet. The difference between them and most PCVs is obvious. Think about it. First, you have the obvious fact that they are religious. Compare that to PCVs, who tend to occupy a space left of center and off the beaten track. Would you really expect most PCVs to subscribe to organized religion? Hence, the disconnect. Second, religious groups tend to want to do charitable works. Great! Help people. Flip that on its head and you have the Peace Corps. Sustainability is a concept that is forced down our throats from day one. If the Peace Corps had a religion, giving hand-outs would be a deadly sin—no charity over here.

Backpackers – Any Peace Corps Volunteer can tell you that being a PCV can kind of make you a little snobby toward backpackers. You know, us PCVs, *clears throat* we’re integrated in our community. We’re not just tourists, ya know, we live here. We, like, speak the language and kick it with the gente. We are overwhelmed when we encounter air conditioning, hot water and fast internet because our sites are just so rural.

Anyway, when you spend time in Panama City hostels from time to time, you occasionally run across backpackers. They all seem to have the same story about how many countries they’ve been to. Occasionally in Darien I might meet the random backpacker without an itinerary who thinks they’re super hard-core for coming out here and ‘How can I get to an indigenous village, you know, and see some indigenous culture?’

When we talk amongst us PCVs, sometimes we wonder how other people don’t get ‘it’, but the more you think of it. . .we are kinda. . .weird, huh?

I started thinking that maybe only other Peace Corps Volunteers occupy the same mental space as me, since the people in all of these other groups seemed to have some fundamental difference. Then I recently met some other gringos in a small international development organization. They really reminded me of PCVs, but none of them had ever served in the Peace Corps.

That’s pretty cool, maybe there are people like me outside of Peace Corps!

What I’ve been reading recently:

Open Veins of Latin America – Eduardo Galeano

Shantaram – Gregory David Roberts

As far as listening, I’ve recently discovered that Sara Bareilles is more awesome than the radio would lead you to believe. In other words, I’ve been listening to a lot of Sara Bareilles.

And Suddenly We’re in the Home Stretch

I took a trip to the States. SURPRISE!

After almost two years in Panama, I figured it’s about time that I come home to see my family. Yesterday, I returned to the Darien. A couple of observations:

I have decided that I will NEVER go that long without coming home again. Though I still haven’t finished scratching the travel itch, I have decided that I need to come home at least twice a year to see my people.

I mean, I came home and met a cousin that didn’t exist when I left for Panama. She’s like almost talking now.

Second observation: Now that I’ve had that little venture back to the motherland, I feel that I have a different perspective on this whole Peace Corps thing. Let me explain what I mean:

1) My Peace Corps service is finite.
I mean, I knew that I only had a few months left living in Darien, but did I really realize that it’ll only be a few short weeks before I’m saying goodbye to all the friends and family that have supported me for the past two years? Guys, that’s a big deal. I’ve invested a lot of time and energy here, and I don’t know when I’m ever coming back.

Yea, I’ll say it—I’m even gonna miss my cat. (I’ve started entertaining the idea of taking her to the States. Lord, help us all.)

2) It doesn’t take long to fly to the States. It’s not even hard.
When I flew to the States, I just left my house and got on a bus to the airport one morning and then. . .suddenly I was in America. It wasn’t even hard. It’s really easy, actually. Somehow I thought North Carolina was more. . .distant. The world is infinitely more connected that we realize.

3) It’s so easy to get wrapped up in your immediate surroundings.
When I’m in Darien, I’m in Darien. I don’t even think about Chiriqui, for Christ’s sake, let alone Charlotte. When I’m in Darien, I’m focused on the manuals I need to edit or the emails I need to send or when’s the next time I need to do my laundry. As soon as I flew to the States, I forgot all of that. Is that not crazy? All of the thoughts that occupy my mind when I’m in Panama, just—snap—gone. Now I’m thinking about what movie I want to Netflix, what I’m going to make my sister for breakfast or what time she gets off of work. Then I get back to Darien and—snap again—I’m right back in the old ebb and flow.

Peace Corps has certainly broadened my horizons. It has that effect on any Peace Corps Volunteer. Anybody would tell you that. What I’ve never heard anyone tell me, though, is how it kind of narrows the scope of your immediate concerns in some ways. Yes, I still read books and think the big thoughts, sometimes, but let’s be honest. I live in a small town. I leave about once a month to stay in the city for a night, and that’s about it. My daily life does not consist of any ‘big thoughts,’ but the little things that do consume my time suddenly become so important to me. I’m not kidding. It is important that I go see my English students at the university on Saturdays. It is important that I leave Alex a voicemail because she doesn’t have phone signal and never talks to anyone outside of Candelilla.

Moving to Panama and joining the Peace Corps has blown my mind in so many ways, and now taking a two week trip back to the States has left my head spinning again. We’re not done yet—my next two months promises to be a whirlwind (I’ll keep you posted!). When I get back to the States in April, I’ll literally just be all Googly-eyed from all the different perspectives I now have on any one idea.

One a side note, it goes without saying that it was wonderful to get to hang out with my family for two weeks! I pretty much spent every waking moment with my sister (except for that time when I binge-watched Glee for what I swear was like 15 hours) and it was great to catch up and have some chill time.

In the meantime, I’m back on the grind making the most of my last few months of life in the tropical paradise (read: sweaty armpit) that is the Wild East, Dirty D, Darien province of Panama.

Hugs and kisses to everyone in the States! I’ll see you soon!

Aja

What I’ve been reading:

My Life—Bill Clinton
Think Like a Freak—Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner
Gone Girl—Gillian Flynn
Half the Sky—Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl DuWunn
The Hot Zone: The Terrifying True Story of the Origins of the Ebola Virus—Richard Preston
The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness—Michelle Alexander

COS Conference

The last leg of my trip out of site was my week long COS Conference.

As a Peace Corps Volunteer nearing the end of my service, I am required to attend what is known as a ‘COS’ (Close of Service) Conference. This conference is the last time where my entire training group will all be together. It’s kind of like a ‘full circle’ moment. You see all the volunteers with whom you first arrived in country, with whom you formed your first Peace Corps friendships, and with whom you went through all the struggles of the first two months of training and the awkwardness of adjusting to your new sites.

Needless to say, it can be a little weird. (As in. . .wait. . .what? We’re leaving this place? Like now-ish?)

The conference serves several purposes. Being a governmental organization, we must (of course) discuss all the administrative paperwork and medical tests that will need to be completed before we leave the country. Second, we discuss several options of paths we’ll take following our Peace Corps service. Will we pursue graduate study? Enter the workforce upon our return to the States? Seek employment abroad? Extend our service with the Peace Corps or seek a position with Peace Corps Response? There are several options, and although it’s hard for us to imagine that our training group will be going our separate ways within a few months, it is exciting to discuss the different paths that our friends and colleagues have chosen to pursue following Peace Corps service.

Finally, the Close of Service Conference is a time for all of us to have some closure with the volunteers in our training group and with the Peace Corps office staff. We take some time to thank each other for the close friendships formed over the two years and for the support provided by the Peace Corps office. The conference ends with a dinner at the Country Director’s house, were the office staff graciously serves us our last office-provided meal. (I had grilled chicken in a mushroom sauce!)

In my training group, whenever we get together, music happens, and this meal was no different. Michael brought his violin, Danny brought his guitar, Kelsie brought her ukulele, and Sez and Mel brought their beautiful voices. Even I pitched in background vocals for a number. Again, it was kind of one of those ‘full-circle’ moments that kind of makes you reflect on all those moments that group 72 (my training group) has gotten together over the past two years.

What may have been the icing on that cake for me is that my group members voted for me for an award!

Last year, PC Panama training staff created an award called the Brandon Valentine Leadership award. Brandon Valentine was a member of PC Panama’s training staff who passed away almost a year ago now. He served in the Peace Corps in Jamaica and Panama before becoming Peace Corps staff and he was just an all-around incredible human being. Anybody who had ever talked to him for two seconds could tell you that. It’s just in his spirit.

In his honor, the training staff created the Brandon Valentine Leadership award to commemorate the spirit of Brandon and to recognize one volunteer from each training group who embodies the positive leadership of Brandon.

Volunteers are chosen for this award based on a vote by their peers. Our group is so amazing, there wasn’t just one volunteer chosen—there was a two-way tie! I won the award along with Max, another volunteer in my training group. We were both incredibly honored. To be voted for an award from volunteers in G72 is pretty special to me. I think very highly of them and they’ve got so many cool talents, so I wasn’t expecting lil’ ol’ me to get an award like this. Like I’ve said before, I’m just surprised my group members aren’t tired of listening to me talk after two years!

All in all, COS was a whirlwind of a week in which I realized that my service really will be coming to a close soon, and it made me stop and think about all of the things I’m thankful for in my Peace Corps service—the personal and professional growth I’ve had. The community members in Meteti that I’ve gotten to know and work with. The kids that are always a blast to be around. The Peace Corps staff that have supported me in my work and in my future goals. And of course, the Peace Corps Volunteers that will continue to be my friends long after I’ve left Panama.

This crazy ride isn’t over yet, though, so I’ll stop being sappy. My official COS (Close of Service) date is April 10, 2015, so I’m still enjoying the ride up and until that date when I am no longer a member of the US Peace Corps.

Much love to everyone in the States! Have a Happy Holiday season! I’ll be givin’ you all hugs and kisses pretty soon!

What I've been reading:

Kaffir Boy -- Mark Mathabane
Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking -- Malcolm Gladwell
Living History -- Hillary Rodham Clinton

Darien and Chiriqui--Traveling Adventures

I’ve just been on a crazy whirlwind of spending three weeks out of my site traveling, working, and spending time with my fellow PCVs that I don’t get to see very often.

It’s been exhausting and exhilarating and—I’m not going to lie—emotional. I don’t have too much time left in Panama with my crazy new gringo friends. After all we’ve been through, our little Peace Corps family will be spreading across the US and across the world pretty soon!

I’ve been on some adventures recently. I took a trip around some parts of Darien I had yet to see. That was another crazy and exhausting experience. It’s pretty amazing that Peace Corps has granted me the ability to visit and really get to know some corners of the world I may never have gotten to visit otherwise. (Tourists have to go through a lot of red tape from border patrol to get out into the Darien Gap/Sambu region, but as Peace Corps, I can hop on boats and travel out there whenever I want!) During this trip I attend anniversary celebration of the indigenous reservation, Sambu. The indigenous people out there know how to have a good time! It was a very fun, family-friendly environment. Basketball tournaments, dance competitions, hold-your-breath competitions, etc.

Anyway, I can’t just talk about Darien, because I’ve been EVERYWHERE during the past three weeks.

Among other things, I went to Chiriqui to give a youth development seminar on the Costa Rican border with a few other PCVs. My friend Logan had invited me out there to participate. I was glad he did, because his site is on the other side of the country from me! If he hadn’t have invited me for this seminar, I may not have made it out there. I was so glad I did come out. His site is BEAUTIFUL! I also had a great time hanging out with my chiricano PCVs (PCVs living in Chiriqui). Living in Darien, I never get to see them.

The seminar was given to about seventy ninth graders in Logan’s school, and it was a huge success! Those kids are smart as a whip and understood all of the big ideas we were feeding them—values, self-esteem, goal-setting and sexual health.

Following three days in Logan’s site (and after he bought us all delicious fried chicken. . .that’s another story), I took off for San Felix (another town in Chiriqui) to crash at another PCV house for a few days. I stayed with Ben and Rachel, a couple of East Siders who moved West a few months ago. It kind of felt like a little mini-reunion!

After that. . .three days in Cerro Punta, Chiriqui. Beautiful town. Nice and fresco (chilly) as we like to say. I went there for a two-day training of 45 PCV facilitators for the Gender and Development Board’s summer youth conferences. I also practiced for our World AIDS Day Flashmob and, of course—celebrate Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving for me went a lot more smoothly than expected, given the amount of work I needed to get done during the festivities. The playlist for the Thanksgiving dances was bangin’ (thanks again to Logan) and there were generally positive vibes all around during the celebration. Like I always say, spending Thanksgiving at a celebration with Peace Corps Volunteers isn’t like it is with your family back in the States, but is always a good time spending a holiday being thankful to have your new family in Panama. :)

Side-bar: I won a superlative!

At Thanksgiving we always vote for Peace Corps superlatives for fun. (Most Panamanian, Most Crushed On, etc.). I won ‘Most Likely to be a Future Politican/President’. And then all my Peace Corps friends told me they’d vote for my (decidedly non-existent) ticket and we all decided what their individual cabinet positions should be. (I’m surprised those guys aren’t tired of listening to me talk after two years! Gotta love those people.)

Yea, Thanksgiving was a blast this year. The party’s not over then, though. I still had quite a few things to do. After spending a day at the beach (because I can), I traveled back to Panama City to participate in the Gender and Development Board’s Second Annual World AIDS Day Flashmob. It’s exactly what it sounds like. We flashmob in a public place, then we hold up posters with information about HIV and AIDS in order to promote awareness. We flashmobbed four times in the Cinco de Mayo/Casco Viejo area of Panama City.

That happened. It was SO MUCH FUN. It was hot. I was completely soaked in sweat from head to toe. I ran around in various stores on the shopping strip with a 10 second blurb about why I wanted to use their speakers to blast five minutes of pop music so that my group could dance. The participants had a great time.

After that was over, I hauled all my personal belongings and all of the Gender and Development Board’s work supplies over to Ciudad del Saber, near the Peace Corps office in Panama City. I’d be staying there for a week for the last leg of my journey out of site—COS Conference.

Foreign Service Related Things

More updates from this aspiring diplomat—and it’s good news!

I passed the Foreign Service Officer Test for the second time. Overall, my score this year improved compared to last year’s. Here’s a breakdown of the sections:

Bio: My score in this section improved dramatically, which is what I was most hoping for this time around. The way this section of the test is scored is shrouded in mystery, so I was a little worried about coming out with a low score in this section again on my second try—if I couldn’t do it right the second time, how could I hope to improve? No worries, though, I seem to have cracked the code!

English Usage: This score was about the same as last year (about a couple of points higher). I’m happy with that, because I was happy about how my score turned out last year. No complaints.

Job Knowledge: This is a section that needs some lovin’. My score was atrocious. It was even lower than last year! (Not that I expected my score to increase in this section: I didn’t study for this test.) No worries, though. I have a plan! I noticed that most of the questions I couldn’t answer had to do with the structure of the US government and legislative processes, so I purchased a Kindle version of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to US Government on Amazon.com and I’m going to read it. I’ve also been getting into reading political memoirs lately, so I’m certainly picking up some things there. (I’m currently reading Living History by Hillary Rodham Clinton, which essentially reads like an 800 page CV. If this lady isn’t making a run for president in 2016 then pigs must already be flying.)

Essay: My essay score got a little bump. I’m happy with my score. I think it was safely a passing score, and there’s really no need to focus on increasing my essay score. Increasing my Job Knowledge score is what could really make a difference.

Either way, I passed and I’m happy about my results. I learned a lot from taking the test a second time. I think I’ll really be prepared for the test when I take it again next year!

In the meantime, the fact that I passed this year means I advance to the next stage of the Foreign Service selection process and I have a second opportunity to write my personal narrative essays to submit to the selection panel. Last year my essays did not get me an invite to the Oral Assessment, but this year, who knows? I’d like to get a shot at the OAs so that I can get practice for next year. Only one thing to do then—focus on writing the best essays I can! (I’ve done research into this, and I’m going about it differently this time!)

IN OTHER NEWS:

Remember how I said that an Embassy program is going to send some of my kids to the States? Well, Embassy personnel came to my site this past Friday to interview candidates. (They were impressed with the kiddos! I’m so proud. Next week we find out the results of the interviews.) I finally met in person with a public affairs diplomat that I had been emailing with during coordination for this program.

I didn’t know she was black (I won’t pretend I wasn’t excited about that) AND her hair was AMAZING. We didn’t have much time to talk around all the business of meeting parents and running kids around for interviews, but I did get to talk to her for a couple of minutes. She told me that Panama was quite an adjustment for her, since most of her tours had been in East Asia, particularly in China. At that point, I probably started talking too much, because that made me SUPER excited. CHINA?!? That’s NUMBER ONE on my list of places to serve! Her Mandarin must be amazing!

Meeting Embassy personnel always makes me super excited. And GUESS WHAT?!? She offered to write me a recommendation! I could’ve died. Every time I meet a diplomat it’s such a positive experience. (You guys must know what you’re doing!) I’m considering having her write me a recommendation for a fellowship she recommended I apply for.

Welp, those are all of the updates I have for right now. Things are going well in the D! The next couple of months promise to be pretty busy, so I’ll do my best to keep you all up to speed.

Much love to everyone in the States! Hugs and kisses (mwah)!

What I’ve Been Reading Lately:

Black Boy Richard Wright

The Audacity of Hope Barack Obama

Endgame Frank Brady

Slaughterhouse Five Kurt Vonnegut

The Social Animal David Brooks

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn Betty Smith