I'm not in the Peace Corps.

I’m not a Peace Corps Volunteer.

You read that correctly. As of April 8, 2015 I have officially successfully completed my two-year Peace Corps service and I am now a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer (RPCV). . .ok, I haven’t quite ‘R-ed’ yet, but you get the idea.

                  

Close-of-Service, or ‘COS’ week went very smoothly, despite the fact that Summit of the Americas was happening in Panama City during the week that I was running around doing my last medical and dental checks and completing paperwork to be able to submit everything to finish my Peace Corps service on time.

Afterward, I had the most AMAZING vacation in Colombia with a few of my favorite people. I got to visit Cartagena, Medellin, Rio Claro, Bogota and Villa de Leyva and it was the most glorious thing ever.

I’m not trying to trivialize unemployment, but in my peculiarly unemployed-yet-worryfree state right now. . .I’m in good spot. I had exactly zero concerns or worries during my twelve days of galavanting around Panama’s South American neighbor. I won’t take the time to recount my whole journey, but just know that I got to dance, karaoke, and spend time with friends I hadn’t seen in two years. It was wonderful.

I’m currently back in Meteti for my last four days. It feels good to be in my Darien home and—would you believe it?—my brain does not believe that I’m peacing out of here on Tuesday. It felt so good to come back to my house and sleep in my bed and see my cat and shop in my store and hear the tipico music playing across the street—I guess being uprooted may prove a little difficult.

I’m ready for it, though. I’ve given it a lot of thought and prepared as best as I can, and on Tuesday I’ll be taking the leap. (I just keep reminding myself that in exactly one week I’ll be laughing until I cry when I go to see Kevin Hart’s show in Charlotte.)

Okay family and friends, I’ll be seeing y’all in a little while!


What I've read recently:
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly - Jean Dominique Bauby
Black Cool: One Thousand Streams of Blackness - Rebecca Walker
I'd Rather We Got Casinos and Other Black Thoughts - Larry Wilmore
The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood

The Time is Near

As my Peace Corps service continues to draw to a close, I am realizing more and more how this move back to the States will be the transition to end all transitions. If this next month doesn’t make my head explode, then I am 100% invincible. I’ve already survived one teary despedida (going-away party) for one of my closest Peace Corps friends and the sad goodbyes continued later that day when my unofficial sitemate gringo came by my house as he made his way to leave the Darien for good—and that’s just the beginning.

I’ll be in my house for the next three days packing my stuff for my Close-of-Service week in Panama City as well as my 12-day trip to Colombia that will immediately follow. During this time, I’ll also be pasearing in my community to say some goodbyes to my friends in Meteti that have really helped me find my way around town for the past two years and have helped me feel at home.

It’s so odd being at this crossroads of ending one of the most transformative experiences of my life (it’s like this and high school marching band, no lie) and yet knowing that I’m about to embark on a huge crazy adventure in DC and Jersey once I leave the Darien.

Just thinking about readjusting to life in the States is enough to make me dizzy. As soon as I’m back, I’ve got to get:

• a pedicure (#1 on the list. . .these dogs are barkin’)
• a phone (to WhatsApp my Pana-people!)
• a computer (for grad school)
• new clothes (Operation: Dress Like a Grown-up)
• Business Cards
• Online statistics courses (I need to brush up on some stats)

And of course I’ve got to spend some quality time with my family before I take off again. Luckily, I have:

• A month of free time of ABSOLUTELY NOTHING (except Kevin Hart and a cookout) before I begin my awesome swanky DC summer internship
• A sister who is serving as a major crutch as I ease back into the whole repatriation deal.

I think the whole thing sounds do-able, right?

Welp, even if it’s not, it’s about to get DONE anyway.

Much love to everyone in the States. I’ll be seeing you lovely people THIS MONTH (can you believe it?).

Aja

What I've Been Reading (the Darien-to-US prep has slowed down my literary digestion. . .)

Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea Barbara Demick

Peace Corps to Foreign Service

*SPOILER ALERT* This is a braggy blog post. I’m going to be a Foreign Service Officer.

Hey guys—I just got some crazy amazing news that I have yet to wrap my head around. Bear with me.

Ok, so when we last checked in I was waiting to hear back from grad schools. I had already been accepted to:

-Syracuse Maxwell School of Public Affairs (MPA)
-Duke Sanford School of Public Policy (MPP)

Since that time, I’ve received acceptances from:

-UC Berkeley Goldman School of Public Policy (MPP)
-U of Michigan Ford School of Public Policy (MPP)
-Princeton University Woodrow Wilson School of Public & International Affairs (MPA)
-Harvard Kennedy School of Government (MPP)

Aka I got in everywhere I applied. (WHAT?!?) Several of these schools gave me AMAZING funding offers. As time went on and I began hearing back from more schools, I began to get excited. When I got offered funding from Berkeley (1 yr tuition+$5,000), I was surprised. When I got the offer from Michigan (full tuition+$9,500 stipend per semester+health insurance) I was super excited. By the time I got the email from Princeton (who funds all of their students) I was literally so overwhelmed that I just cried big ugly tears—how in the world could this be happening to me? Princeton’s MPA program is my top choice, and I’m SO EXCITED to attend in the fall.

But wait. The good news doesn’t stop there.

I’ve been awarded a crazy fellowship from the State Department. Remember how I want to be a Foreign Service Officer? Well, check all over that. This fellowship has got it covered. Let me try and explain.

The Charles B. Rangel Foreign Affairs Graduate Program is a partnership between Howard University and the State Department. This program seeks to recruit candidates from underrepresented populations (i.e.: minorities) to serve in the Department of State’s diplomatic service (aka my dream job).

Graduate fellows complete a two year graduate program, and upon graduation, enter into the Foreign Service for a minimum of five (5) years. Fellows receive financial assistance to fund their studies, as well as funding for two (2) ten-week summer internships: one on Capitol Hill the summer before beginning the graduate program and one at a US Embassy abroad between the first and second year of graduate study.

TLDR; I have the next seven years of my life planned out EXACTLY the way I would have wished. Princeton’s MPA program even has an agreement with the Rangel Fellows program so that I will actually end up getting paid to go to graduate school!

Check it out, I’m a professional student.

I’m stoked; can you tell?!?

Shout out to my whole family in the States. We on the come-up, y’all!

I’ve got another month left in my Peace Corps Service and about a month and a half until I return to the United States. I’m going to do all I can to make the most out of the short time I have left in my Darien home. I can’t wait to see all my friends and fam in the States! Nos vemos pronto!

More Updates--Michigan, Rangel and d00k

Here are a few updates on the post-PC/grad school planning thing:

• The interview with Michigan went well, I think. I hear that the fact that they chose to hit me up for an interview is a good sign. I figure this means I'm already into their program, I'm just awaiting a funding decision. (I'm hoping to get a REALLY good funding offer from this school, because I need to get good funding offers from at least two schools to be able to negotiate a really good offer from the school I'll ultimately choose to attend.)
• After the Michigan interview, I recieved some good news via email--I'm a finalist for this year's Rangel Foreign Affairs Fellowship! I won't explain all of the benefits of the fellowship on this blog unless I am ultimately selected to recieve the fellowship, but suffice it to say that as an aspiring FSO looking for grad school funding, it would be the dream of a lifetime (I'm NOT exaggerating) and would help me fund any school that I choose to attend. (If you want more info about the fellowship, click here.) My interview is on March 10th and I recieve a final decision on March 13th. . .March 13th can't come soon enough.
• A couple of days ago, more good news rolled in. I've been accepted to the Master's of Public Policy program at the Sanford School of Public Policy at Duke University! Duke gave me a pretty good funding offer that will cover 90% of my tuition costs, plus provide me with a $4,000 assistantship (think grad school version of work-study). Duke is certainly a school that I'm seriously considering for next year's studies (in no small part due to its location in my home state of North Carolina), but my decision will be heavily dependent upon the funding options that I end up with after all the decisions roll in and negotiations have been finalized--to be blunt, I'm not made out of money and I don't want to go into massive debt for graduate school!

Those are all the updates I have for now. There are some big dice rolls and decisions to be made during the next couple of weeks, so stay tuned! Hopefully this good news can keep up just a little while longer. Send me good vibes, peeps. I'll keep ya posted.

Paseos and Grad School Stuff

I figured maybe I should give an actual little update rather than posting my self-indulgent hippie-esque ruminations.

I’m pretty much just chillin’ out over here. Nothing groundbreaking. I’m trying to hang out with my Pana-peeps and my Peace Corps friends as much as possible before I depart from these beautiful people in a couple of months.

This past weekend I went to a few different sites of other Peace Corps Volunteers in Panama Este (the next province over from me). I pass through Panama Este every time I bus to Panama City, but I hardly ever stop through and actually get to know the place! Welp, now’s the time for stopping to smell the roses. I hung out with a couple of the newer Peace Corps Volunteers who I hadn’t gotten to meet yet and continued to learn more about the geography and people of Eastern Panama.

I’m hoping to continue in my paseos and make some trips to the sites of a few other PCVs before I leave in April.

In grad school news, I’ve finally gotten some news back—and it’s good news! I was just recently notified that I’ve been admitted to the Maxwell School of Public Affairs at Syracuse University in their Master’s of Public Administration program (MPA). It’s the highest ranked public affairs program in the country, so I’m very excited that I’ve been admitted there. I’ve applied for admittance to some pretty competitive programs, so while I know I’m not out of the woods yet with respect to admissions/funding decisions, I am pumped to start off the notification season with some good news.

Michigan also just emailed me. I think they're going to call my cell phone tomorrow afternoon. They want to talk to me for about 20 minutes in order to get to 'know me better' during their fellowship decisions process. (They're tryna pretend it's not about the C.R.E.A.M.)

Also, one of my Peace Corps friends just emailed me out of the blue about a connection for a new job with this really cool NGO. I'm kind of excited to hear more about the position (jobs like this don't just fall in your lap!), but I also know that taking a job would mean deferring grad school I'm like AHHH! DECISIONS! Future! I'm not ready for you yet!

I’ll certainly be posting as I go through this new adventure of closing out my Peace Corps service and figuring out my next step! Things are starting to cook up and it's getting pretty exciting. Stay tuned.

--Aja

What I’ve been reading lately:

End of Poverty – Jeffrey Sachs

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close – Jonathan Safran Foer

Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.

You guys, I don’t even know how to update you right now. What am I doing? Where am I? What’s going on?

It’s February 6^th. I finish my service as a Peace Corps Volunteer on April 10^th.

And again, we come to one of those big transitional moments in life. High School graduation. Study abroad. College Graduation. Peace Corps. Leaving Peace Corps. As a 20-something American, these times tend to come up now and again for my demographic. And every time is does, I think the world has just turned on its head.

But in truth, el mundo sigue girando. It just keeps spinning on its axis, as if it paid no mind to the fact that I’m about two months away from repatriating back to my home country, taking a trip to Colombia, gearing up for grad school, passing on leadership of an organization to a fresh set of hands, and saying goodbye (or see you later?) to some of the best friends I’ve ever had in my life.

How would I even begin to eulogize this experience?

I’m not going to try. If you want to hear me monologue about it, you’ll just have to sit down and have a few drinks with me in person.

Suffice it to say though, while I do feel ready to move on in April, I am grateful for everything this experience has given to me and everything it’s taught me.

Enough of that, though. It’s not April! I have a couple more months to enjoy all that the Wild East of Panama has to offer!

What I’ve been reading:

Economic Gangsters – Ray Fisman

Unbroken – Laura Hillenbrand

Water for Elephants – Sara Gruen

The Art of Racing in the Rain – Garth Stein

A scatter-brained post: She’s cool, though. She, like. . . gets it.

Here's a random blog post I found.  I wrote it back in late August and for some reason forgot to ever post it. :)

In Peace Corps Panama, the biggest compliment us volunteers can pay our Panamanian friends and colleagues is that they ‘get’ it, meaning that they kind of understand some unspoken aspect of us Peace Corps Volunteers—why we’ve chosen to do what we do and why we live the way we live.

The farther I get into my Peace Corps service, the more I’ve come to value that ability in a person: the ability to understand the crazy hippie-ness that is the Peace Corps lifestyle.

Sometimes I forget that other people differ from me in their way of thinking. Peace Corps Volunteers (PCVs) can be very like-minded in some ways. When you constantly interact with head-in-the-clouds PCVs, you end up kind of indulging your metaphysically intellectual tendencies and loosening your grip on ‘reality’ (you know, whatever that is.)

Luckily, there are gringos and Panamanians alike that I meet in this country that reel me back in and remind me that people are different and the Peace Corps hippie mentality is not the only way of looking at the world.

There are a myriad of groups that I’ve met during my time in the Peace Corps:

Panamanians – Obviously most people I meet are Panamanian. One major difference between the ‘Peace Corps’ culture and Panamanian culture is the collectivist, family-focused culture of Panamanians vs. the slightly rebellious, restless nature of PCVs. A lot of my PC colleagues and I are still looking to see what we can get out of life. We want to explore the world and break/change/bend the rules. The fact that we are in our mid-twenties and aren’t already married with kids strikes Panamanians as odd. They don’t understand our lack of urgency in remedying this issue. They worry that we’re all alone in the world. Why do we live so far from our families? Shouldn’t we be looking for spouses? Will we marry Panamanians? PCVs are not trying to entertain these questions. We can’t have kids right now—we’ve got some exploring to do, first! (I’m not going to lie, though, Panamanians have something in common with some of my family members in the States in this respect.) Even if they don’t understand our craziness, though, Panamanians always have our backs and are looking out for our best interest. We wouldn’t be able to get by in this country without their amazing hospitality!

US Army – I’ve translated for the US Army a couple of times during medical tours in Panama. They have a myriad of personalities in the ranks of their reserve officers. I think the biggest differences between PCVs and  US Army reserves are that either 1) they (the army) doesn’t understand what we’re trying to get done here. Like. . . are we just little PR ambassadors? Where are the numbers? The results? OR 2) Oh my gosh our lives are so hard. We don’t have hot water? We must be martyrs.

I must say, I do enjoy translating for the army. While I teach them a little of what I have learned about Panama, I also learn bits and pieces of the military culture. It’s a cultural exchange!

Religious groups – There are a couple of religious groups that I’ve gotten the opportunity to translate for while I’ve been in Panama. These people are super sweet. The difference between them and most PCVs is obvious. Think about it. First, you have the obvious fact that they are religious. Compare that to PCVs, who tend to occupy a space left of center and off the beaten track. Would you really expect most PCVs to subscribe to organized religion? Hence, the disconnect. Second, religious groups tend to want to do charitable works. Great! Help people. Flip that on its head and you have the Peace Corps. Sustainability is a concept that is forced down our throats from day one. If the Peace Corps had a religion, giving hand-outs would be a deadly sin—no charity over here.

Backpackers – Any Peace Corps Volunteer can tell you that being a PCV can kind of make you a little snobby toward backpackers. You know, us PCVs, *clears throat* we’re integrated in our community. We’re not just tourists, ya know, we live here. We, like, speak the language and kick it with the gente. We are overwhelmed when we encounter air conditioning, hot water and fast internet because our sites are just so rural.

Anyway, when you spend time in Panama City hostels from time to time, you occasionally run across backpackers. They all seem to have the same story about how many countries they’ve been to. Occasionally in Darien I might meet the random backpacker without an itinerary who thinks they’re super hard-core for coming out here and ‘How can I get to an indigenous village, you know, and see some indigenous culture?’

When we talk amongst us PCVs, sometimes we wonder how other people don’t get ‘it’, but the more you think of it. . .we are kinda. . .weird, huh?

I started thinking that maybe only other Peace Corps Volunteers occupy the same mental space as me, since the people in all of these other groups seemed to have some fundamental difference. Then I recently met some other gringos in a small international development organization. They really reminded me of PCVs, but none of them had ever served in the Peace Corps.

That’s pretty cool, maybe there are people like me outside of Peace Corps!

What I’ve been reading recently:

Open Veins of Latin America – Eduardo Galeano

Shantaram – Gregory David Roberts

As far as listening, I’ve recently discovered that Sara Bareilles is more awesome than the radio would lead you to believe. In other words, I’ve been listening to a lot of Sara Bareilles.

And Suddenly We’re in the Home Stretch

I took a trip to the States. SURPRISE!

After almost two years in Panama, I figured it’s about time that I come home to see my family. Yesterday, I returned to the Darien. A couple of observations:

I have decided that I will NEVER go that long without coming home again. Though I still haven’t finished scratching the travel itch, I have decided that I need to come home at least twice a year to see my people.

I mean, I came home and met a cousin that didn’t exist when I left for Panama. She’s like almost talking now.

Second observation: Now that I’ve had that little venture back to the motherland, I feel that I have a different perspective on this whole Peace Corps thing. Let me explain what I mean:

1) My Peace Corps service is finite.
I mean, I knew that I only had a few months left living in Darien, but did I really realize that it’ll only be a few short weeks before I’m saying goodbye to all the friends and family that have supported me for the past two years? Guys, that’s a big deal. I’ve invested a lot of time and energy here, and I don’t know when I’m ever coming back.

Yea, I’ll say it—I’m even gonna miss my cat. (I’ve started entertaining the idea of taking her to the States. Lord, help us all.)

2) It doesn’t take long to fly to the States. It’s not even hard.
When I flew to the States, I just left my house and got on a bus to the airport one morning and then. . .suddenly I was in America. It wasn’t even hard. It’s really easy, actually. Somehow I thought North Carolina was more. . .distant. The world is infinitely more connected that we realize.

3) It’s so easy to get wrapped up in your immediate surroundings.
When I’m in Darien, I’m in Darien. I don’t even think about Chiriqui, for Christ’s sake, let alone Charlotte. When I’m in Darien, I’m focused on the manuals I need to edit or the emails I need to send or when’s the next time I need to do my laundry. As soon as I flew to the States, I forgot all of that. Is that not crazy? All of the thoughts that occupy my mind when I’m in Panama, just—snap—gone. Now I’m thinking about what movie I want to Netflix, what I’m going to make my sister for breakfast or what time she gets off of work. Then I get back to Darien and—snap again—I’m right back in the old ebb and flow.

Peace Corps has certainly broadened my horizons. It has that effect on any Peace Corps Volunteer. Anybody would tell you that. What I’ve never heard anyone tell me, though, is how it kind of narrows the scope of your immediate concerns in some ways. Yes, I still read books and think the big thoughts, sometimes, but let’s be honest. I live in a small town. I leave about once a month to stay in the city for a night, and that’s about it. My daily life does not consist of any ‘big thoughts,’ but the little things that do consume my time suddenly become so important to me. I’m not kidding. It is important that I go see my English students at the university on Saturdays. It is important that I leave Alex a voicemail because she doesn’t have phone signal and never talks to anyone outside of Candelilla.

Moving to Panama and joining the Peace Corps has blown my mind in so many ways, and now taking a two week trip back to the States has left my head spinning again. We’re not done yet—my next two months promises to be a whirlwind (I’ll keep you posted!). When I get back to the States in April, I’ll literally just be all Googly-eyed from all the different perspectives I now have on any one idea.

One a side note, it goes without saying that it was wonderful to get to hang out with my family for two weeks! I pretty much spent every waking moment with my sister (except for that time when I binge-watched Glee for what I swear was like 15 hours) and it was great to catch up and have some chill time.

In the meantime, I’m back on the grind making the most of my last few months of life in the tropical paradise (read: sweaty armpit) that is the Wild East, Dirty D, Darien province of Panama.

Hugs and kisses to everyone in the States! I’ll see you soon!

Aja

What I’ve been reading:

My Life—Bill Clinton
Think Like a Freak—Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner
Gone Girl—Gillian Flynn
Half the Sky—Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl DuWunn
The Hot Zone: The Terrifying True Story of the Origins of the Ebola Virus—Richard Preston
The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness—Michelle Alexander